Pre-Trip Haiku

My tonsil is huge-

on the right side it hurts me.

I want it removed.

The piece of poetic genius you see above is not symbolic.

I’ve spent the last 22 years of my life on blissfully ignorant terms with my tonsils. That all changed a day ago, and holy cheeseballs, are they miffed (at first it was just the right side, and now the left side has totally joined the fight). I’ve tried apologizing, I’ve attempted to drug them into submission, drown them in saltwater, and coat ’em with tea, all to no avail. Every time I use my handy-dandy penlight to take a look, they look more and more upset.

This does not bode well for a good send-off to Atlanta in 53 hours (not that I’m counting, or excited). I’m all kinds of thrown off my game. For one thing, I am not even close to being packed, which is an Obnoxious Thing, because about 48 hours before, I’d really really like to be just a little bit packed. Like, just a smidge. By this point in pre-trip planning, I would have liked to put aside some clothes and secured a hostess gift and maybe picked a general route for the almost 1000-mile journey. Instead, by this point in pre-trip planning, I have called into work sick (Hateful. who wants to play with tonsils when they could be playing with placentas? ENT docs, and I just don’t get their decision-making process), had a glassy-eyed marathon of The Office, made a pro/con list for home-based tonsillectomies  and successfully eaten 1 bowl of soup (which gives me a 33% success rate, thus far)! I’d love to add “slept way too much” to that list, but I haven’t been able to sleep much, which means this obligatory pre-trip post is written mostly in a state of delirium (apologies for the state of the haiku?).

Anyway. I really wanted to post something cheesy and predictable pre-trip (Hunter in my bag? A picture of roadfood? An updated list?), but this seemed more accurate. I’ll arrive in Georgia far too late to post something on Wednesday, but I’m bonkers excited to have an excuse to post later this week. The food will be awesome, the scenery will be gorgeous, the road will be long, and just the thought of visiting my educational crush has got me all hot-n-bothered.

But then again, that could just be the fever.

Off to remove my tonsil(s),


Categories: Travels | Tags: , , , , | 4 Comments

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4 thoughts on “Pre-Trip Haiku

  1. lostalreadyinmy20s

    Well, if you’re going to do home surgery you have to invite Chelsea, she’ll be so excited. Hope you feel better and have a good trip. Wish I was tripping with you

    • OMG I would totally invite Chelsea. I’d need someone to do all the snipping and pus extracting, and I think for her it’d be kind of like Christmas in July…

  2. Lora Smith

    You have such a great vocabulary and way with words!!! Sorry you feel bad and hope it gets better soon. Hope my kids will be that poetic someday and able to express themselves so very well like you do 🙂 Also, thanks for teaching me something yesterday with your post of facebook. I have had 4 babies now and I have never heard of a baby being born in the Caul. So very interesting!!!!

    • Thank you for your kind words! It’s super, super-rare for a baby to be born in caul, so it was an amazing photo! The midwife who delivered is one of my very favorite, and I was so happy she (and the mama) shared that experience! Hope your little man is doing well! 😉

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